DEAR ABBY: A former boyfriend, “Ray,” is an alcoholic. He has been through rehab twice, but it didn’t do any good. He won’t stop. He keeps saying we’ll work it out. 

I don’t understand why Ray can’t get it through his head that I no longer want to be with him. I gave him two chances. Nobody else wants to help him either, including his family. 

Ray can be controlling. He still contacts me and tells me what I need to do, just like when we were together. I don’t need that kind of person in my life. I hope and pray God will send me the right person one day. Any advice you can offer? — BREAKING AWAY IN ALABAMA

DEAR BREAKING AWAY: Block Ray’s number, and do not respond to any more messages from him. If he has a key to your place, change the locks. The next time Ray contacts you (hopefully sober), tell him there is nothing more to work out. You no longer want any contact with him, and if his stalking doesn’t stop, you will report him to the authorities and get a restraining order. (Then, if it becomes necessary, do it.)

DEAR ABBY: My sister “Fiora” lives with her daughter and family several states away from me and her other siblings. She is insisting we plan a party for her 80th birthday. Fiora wants it to be a destination party in an expensive resort area nowhere near where any of us live. 

None of us is wealthy, but some of us have been good money managers and are comfortable in retirement. Fiora, on the other hand, has spent every last dime and has health issues, so she must live with her daughter. We have told her we feel if she wants this extravagant party, she should talk to her children, not to us. Is this unreasonable of us or of her? — PARTIED OUT IN MISSOURI

DEAR PARTIED OUT: Putting the rules of etiquette aside, Sister Fiora should not be demanding that her siblings foot the bill for a birthday extravaganza she can’t afford. Tell her (as one) that you will be happy to split the bill for a more modest celebration or send her a check. The choice is hers, and the amount is something all the sibs can decide upon. Her adult children might also want to chip in as well.

DEAR ABBY: Has anyone ever asked women on the receiving end of men’s use of Viagra or other such medications how they feel about having to plan or schedule their so-called “lovemaking”? I feel it would make it just plain old sex rather than an emotional, loving act. To me, it would be better to have no sex at all than to have to plan for it. Also, how satisfying is it really to women? — PHYLLIS IN INDIANA

DEAR PHYLLIS: As I am sure you know, there is more to making love than popping a pill. The act and the desire for it should be mutual rather than a performance. Making love with someone a person cares about and is attracted to can be satisfying, but I think the answer to your question depends upon which participant you ask. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

The federal Conservatives are pushing to allow Canada Post to ship alcohol between provinces, saying the Liberals have failed to live up to their pledge to remove interprovincial trade barriers.

B.C. MP Dan Albas, whose riding includes the Okanagan wine region, has introduced a private member’s bill that would amend the Canada Post Corporation Act to remove restrictions on direct interprovincial shipments of alcohol to consumers.

Albas said the change would “free the beer.”

“We need to be our own best customers. This is a valid way to do that,” he said.

Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre said there are more barriers to trade between provinces than there are with many countries.

“It is currently against the law for Canada Post to deliver Canadian alcohol to Canadian consumers in six of 10 provinces,” he said. “That is a federal law that Mark Carney refuses, so far, to change.”

Prime Minister Mark Carney vowed during last spring’s federal election campaign to eliminate trade barriers and have free trade in Canada by July 1.

The Liberals and Conservatives worked together last June to pass an omnibus bill that reduces restrictions on internal trade and speeds up permitting for large infrastructure projects.

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The law targets federal restrictions on interprovincial trade and labour mobility, though most of the trade barriers within Canada are a product of regulations and laws that exist at the provincial and territorial level.

Premiers agreed at the Council of the Federation last year to tackle interprovincial trade barriers.

5:33
B.C. producers frustrated over new provincial trade deal exclusion

Some progress has been made, including a memorandum of understanding that commits all 10 provinces and Yukon to allowing consumers to buy Canadian alcohol directly from producers.

The agreement also says jurisdictions with personal use exemption limits on the amount of alcohol an individual can take across a provincial or territorial boundary “will work to either remove or increase these limits.”

The provinces and territories have agreed to develop frameworks to make that happen by May of this year.

Nova Scotia and Ontario signed a deal on March 2 to allow people to buy alcohol from producers in either province.

A spokesperson for One Canadian Economy Minister Dominic LeBlanc did not respond directly to questions about whether the government would support the Conservative legislation.

In an emailed statement, Gabriel Brunet pointed to the deal between Nova Scotia and Ontario and said it’s “something the federal government wholly supports and hopes to see replicated across the country.”

“We will continue to exercise federal leadership through the Committee on Internal Trade, which will meet on March 30, and all relevant (federal-provincial-territorial) forums to go further in breaking down internal trade barriers and unlocking Canada’s economic potential,” Brunet said.

Poilievre said the agreements that have been signed on interprovincial trade are “meaningless” and Carney pledged to fix the problem.

“He didn’t put an asterisk next to that and claim that he wouldn’t be able to do anything because the provinces would get in his way. He said he would be a strong national leader that would bring truly free trade,” he said.

The federal government estimates that eliminating all federal, provincial and territorial trade barriers could boost GDP by as much as $200 billion.

&copy 2026 The Canadian Press

A recent TikTok from the University of Bristol’s student TV station sparked conversation for giving students advice on how to take MDMA.

The UBTV video, overlaid with text reading ‘how often should I take breaks from MDMA’, was presented by a spokesperson from The Drop, part of Bristol Drugs Project, which offers information and support for people using drugs recreationally.

So far, it’s racked up more than 35,000 views, but comments aren’t all positive, with the top liked reply simply saying ‘or don’t do it’.

However, given new research shows a third (32%) of British 23-year-olds have tried hard drugs such as cocaine, ketamine and ecstasy — triple the figure for 17-year-olds — judgement-free information like this is vital from a perspective of harm reduction.

Instead of abstinence, the harm reduction approach to drugs accepts that people will take them, regardless of any ban or warning put in place.

It therefore focuses on practical strategies to minimise negative impacts, from overdose prevention to signposting to addiction support services, with the ultimate goal being to prevent drug-related deaths (now at the highest numbers since records began in England in Wales).

Encouraging safer use is a key cornerstone of this approach, and leaving gaps between ‘sessions’ can go a long way in keeping drug users safe.

Recreational vs dependent

Organisations like The Drop acknowledge that many people won’t stop using drugs, and won’t get addicted.

The harm reduction approach offers advice for people that occasionally use drugs recreationally, for pleasure and enjoyment.

Addiction however, is a chronic condition, defined by the NHS as ‘not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you’.

A person who is dependent or addicted to drugs has a compulsion to use, despite the negative impact the habit may be having on their life.

Dr Rayyan Zafar, neuropsychopharmacologist at Drug Science, tells Metro: ‘A break [between drug taking] isn’t just letting the drug leave the system, it’s about giving the brain and body the time to reverse potential neuro-adaptations that happen in response to the drug.’

These include changes to your tolerance level, a temporary decrease of different chemicals or hormones, and overstimulation of parts of the brain required for you to function at your best.

‘On top of that is the restoration of sleep and appetite, and the reduction of harm to organs,’ he adds.

According to Dr Zafar, ‘it’s a frequency in the dose that drives the harm, not single one-off exposures per se,’ which is why breaks are so important. The risks also multiply if you combine different substances.

The fact is, there are no ‘safe use guarantees’ when it comes to either dose or time limit, and beyond the potential health dangers, getting caught in possession of illegal drugs can also carry a penalty of up to seven years in prison.

However, if you are going to take them, these science-backed guidelines may help lessen the long-term impact.

GHB, heroin, methamphetamine and crack cocaine

Although all drugs can be harmful, GHB, heroin, methamphetamine and crack cocaine have been omitted from this piece, as Dr Zafar says they have no safe limits between use — and because they’re so extremely dangerous, should be avoided altogether.

MDMA: 3 months

Although Dr Zafar says six to eight weeks is the minimum amount of time you should leave between MDMA doses, he recommends a ‘more conservative’ break of three months (as advised in the UBTV TikTok).

There’s no evidence to suggest recreational MDMA use causes any long-term damage to the adult brain, but because it stimulates the production ofserotonin — a hormone related to stress, sleep and temperature — Dr Zafar says it’s possible that, over time, the changes to your brain’s serotonin system may affect how you feel and think.

Recent studies suggest the brain doesn’t fully-form until age 32, so extra caution is also advised for younger people.

Despite this though, Dr Zafar adds that MDMA is ‘by and large, in the way that people use it, a very safe drug.’

MDMA-related fatalities are typically the result of inadequate temperature regulation, taking it alongside other drugs, and high-potency pills, with the risks increasing for first-time users and women (because of how it interacts with the oestrogen and vasopressin in their bodies).

Need support?

If you’re concerned about your own or a loved one’s drug use, the NHS recommends speaking to your GP or visiting the Frank website to find specific support services near you.

If you’re having trouble finding the right sort of help, call the Frank drugs helpline on 0300 123 6600 and they can talk you through your options.

Cocaine: At least a month

Cocaine may be one of the most popular recreational drugs in the UK, but according to Dr Zafar, there’s ‘no evidence-based safe gap’ between sessions.

At the very least, he recommends avoiding consecutive days, as there’s a ’24-fold heart attack increase in the hour after using cocaine’ which decreases over time, but a break of a month or more is preferred.

‘Even weekly use of cocaine can lead to something called dopamine sensitisation,’ Dr Zafar continues. ‘So weekend binge culture can actually make your brain become more dependent on it, and cause sleep loss, anxiety, dependence, risk and cardiotoxicity (heart damage) when combined with alcohol.’

Cannabis: 1 month

‘Tolerance to cannabis is linked to the CB1 receptor,’ explains Dr Zafar. That’s the part of the brain that helps regulate things like appetite, pain, memory and mood. ‘There’s evidence that its density normalises four weeks after abstinence in daily users,’ says Dr Zafar.

After two weeks without a joint, your tolerance is reduced, but a month’s break is better for a ‘complete reset’ of the CB1 receptor, where you can ‘noticeably’ feel a difference.

In terms of regular users, he says dependency often develops as people try to avoid the withdrawal that comes with CB1 receptor downregulation.

‘Basically, the cannabis will dampen it down, which is a response to kind of having loads of like THC in the system,’ he adds. ‘It tries to reduce the number of receptors to reduce the effects… But then, when you stop using the drug, you have the withdrawal like effect, and then they’ll grow back up.’

Amphetamines: 1 month

If you’ve taken amphetamines such as speed, you need to wait a month before doing so again, both to combat the effects of sleep deprivation and overheating, and to avoid falling into chronic use, which ‘is linked to neurochemical and neuroanatomical changes.’

Dr Zafar explains: ‘There are brain changes and also psychiatric risk, with reviews of alterations to the dopamine systems in the brains of people who regularly use amphetamines.’

You may have heard that one of these drugs, mephedrone – also known as M-CAT or meow meow – is being trialled as a psychiatric drug, and has been advocated as a reduced-harm alternative to cocaine by Drug Science founder, Professor David Nutt, a former UK government drug advisor, because it’s less neurotoxic and causes fewer deaths.

‘But the issue with M-CAT is people generally tend to stay up for days on it, where it’s harder to stay up to days on cocaine because of the pharmacokinetic profile,’ adds Dr Zafar. ‘So we can’t take away from the harms entirely.’

Hallucinogens: 3 to 7 days

‘Psychedelics like LSD and psilocybin (magic mushrooms) tolerance builds up really fast, but it also drops really fast, so you probably need around three to seven days to clear acute tolerance,’ says Dr Zafar.

Essentially, if you take hallucinogens more than once or twice within a week, you’ll feel less each time — which is why in clinical psychedelic therapy programs researchers schedule breaks of two to four-weeks between doses.

On retreats, however, people are often given two or three doses over the course of as many days, and when it comes to ‘meaning making’, ‘the longer the breaks are, the more insight.’

Keep in mind too, that while there’s limited evidence of neurotoxicity with these drugs, in some cases they can precipitate psychosis, and it’s important to take them in a comfortable and supportive environment because they’re ‘quite powerful’.

Ketamine: Minimum 2 weeks

Alongside avoiding frequent use, Dr Zafar says you should ‘think weeks between sessions – at minimum two weeks – and stop immediately if you get urinary symptoms’.

He continues: ‘There is a cumulative bladder and urinary tract toxicity that occurs, which is a standout harm for ketamine, and the risk rises significantly with regular patterns… For example, using ketamine at least three times a week over a period of two years has been shown to result in alterations in bladder function.’

This level of use applies to a ‘small and increasing number of people’, but even though it’s not likely to have bladder issues with infrequent recreational comsumption, you should still be careful and seek medical advice if you do experience any worrying symptoms.

After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Alcohol: 2 weeks

You may not consider alcohol as a ‘drug’, but despite the fact it’s readily available and widely used, Professor David Nutt, considers it one of the most harmful.

And although the NHS guideline is no more than 14 units a week, Dr Zafar says ‘no amount of alcohol is safe for the body’ due to how it ‘affects every organ in the body destructively.’

The impact also worsens following ‘cumulative exposure’, with studies showing that three days of drinking in a row causes your liver to start producing ‘alcohol-related fatty deposits’, which can then lead to cirrhosis.

To mitigate this somewhat, Dr Zafar recommends spreading your drinking you out as much possible, from taking specific days off booze each week to practicing Dry January and Sober October for a bigger reset.

He says most people begin to feel more energetic, less irritable and have better sleep better after two weeks abstinence.

‘If you go and have a binge again, then you then got to wait another two weeks to get back to the point that you’ve just earned,’ Dr Zafar concludes.

Tips for harm reduction

Whatever the substance, Dr Zafar recommends these tips to limit its negative impact on your health:

• Don’t mix drugs.
• Avoid binges.
• Watch out for warning signs, from psychological symptoms like anxiety and low mood to physical ones like chest pains, breathlessness and headaches; ‘that’s your body’s way of basically saying you need to be in recovery.’
• Check the drug’s potency. Legally-available testing kits can give you an example of what’s inside a drug, as well as the potential potency of the drug, helping you make an informed decision on how much you should take.
• Seek support as soon as you feel use is becoming problematic, for example if ‘you’re beginning to feel like when you’re off the drug, you’re not feeling great’ — ‘that might be the start of a bigger problem.’

This article was first published on January 22, 2026.

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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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California’s notorious “party mom” is facing up to 30 years in prison after being found guilty for hosting booze-fueled sex parties for high schoolers.

Following a three-month courtroom saga, 51-year-old Shannon O’Connor of Los Gatos was convicted Wednesday on 48 felony counts, including sexual battery, child endangerment and giving alcohol to minors.

“We expect, as parents, that we protect children — protect our children, protect other people’s children,” Santa Clara County District Attorney Jeff Rosen told reporters outside the courthouse Wednesday.

“This defendant took advantage of children, manipulated children, hurt children — emotionally, mentally, physically, and did that for her own perverse reasons.

“Every child who testified, the jury convicted the defendant of a charge involving that child.”

O’Connor, who maintained her innocence, was accused of orchestrating illicit sex parties for a group of teens, including her son, at her Los Gatos home and in vacation rentals throughout the 2020-2021 school year.

Widespread sexual assaults took place under her supervision, where she was accused of plied teens with copious amounts of alcohol and watched as they engaged in lewd acts for her own disturbing amusement.

One of the alleged victims had told the court there was “no escape” from the boozy bashes, where teenage girls were treated like “sex objects.”

The girl, who testified at O’Connor’s trial under the name “Jane Doe 6,” recounted how the mom looked on as teens engaged in lewd sex acts inside her lavish $4 million San Jose mansion.

Most of O’Connor’s guests were 14-year-old freshmen from Los Gatos High School, where boys treated girls like “sex objects,” Doe 6 testified.

“I was assaulted, and my friends were assaulted multiple times,” she told the jury.

The convicted mom’s attorney, Stephen Prekoski, said his client was “crushed” and “very disappointed” by the verdict while speaking to reporters.

“I don’t think I can say it any better than that,” Preksoski added.

O’Connor is due back in court for final sentencing March 26.

Ontario and Nova Scotia have signed an agreement that will let residents in both provinces buy alcohol directly from local producers in either jurisdiction.

The new deal flows from a broader framework agreed to by several provinces last year to try to reduce or do away with internal Canadian trade barriers altogether.

Canadian provinces have various restrictive rules around the sale of alcohol that make it difficult for customers to buy outside of their territory.

In Ontario, for example, alcohol must be bought through the LCBO and direct shipments from other provinces are forbidden.

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The agreement signed between Ontario Premier Doug Ford and his Nova Scotia counterpart Tim Houston will abolish those barriers and allow for people to order direct from local breweries, wineries and distillers “in the coming weeks.”

It will allow people to purchase alcohol directly from other provinces without going through provincial agencies. Someone living in Ontario, for example, could order Nova Scotia wine directly from a small producer on the East Coast.

Both leaders hailed the agreement.

“Ontario is leading the way to unlock free trade within Canada. Our agreement means Nova Scotia residents can conveniently purchase any of their favourite Ontario craft beers, wines and more, while Ontario residents will be able to buy the very best Nova Scotia has to offer,” Ford said in a statement.

Houston said the deal was a “stepping stone” that would let alcohol makers in his province access the much larger Ontario market.

With the agreement now signed, both provinces will begin going through the process of authorizing sales from a competing jurisdiction.

The government has not indicated a date on which those changes will be formalized.

&copy 2026 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.

A Democratic Washington state lawmaker has apologized after admitting he showed up to a committee hearing after drinking alcohol and making somewhat slurred remarks during the proceeding.

Democratic state Rep. Joe Fitzgibbon, the state House majority leader, said it was a “serious mistake for many reasons” when he appeared at a House Appropriations Committee meeting Wednesday where he discussed the operating budget. 

“I made a poor choice last night by drinking alcohol before we had finished our work for the day,” Fitzgibbon explained in a statement to “The Jason Rantz Show,” which first reported on the ordeal.

“I am disappointed in myself and take responsibility for that poor choice. It won’t happen again, and I’m committed to completing my work this session without alcohol.”

During the hearing, Fitzgibbon spoke about the budget and appeared to slur his words at times. 

“I am grateful to all the members of this committee and all the members of the house for putting forward their ideas and putting forward that … that … the … the operating budget that we put forward does not forget that the people we are working to represent, the people we are working to lift up and support … don’t always have a voice in this process,” Fitzgibbon said, Fox Seattle reported. 

In a statement to the news outlet, he said being impaired “was harmful to my work and to my co-workers” and embarrassing. 

Fox News Digital has reached out to Fitzgibbon and the Washington State Republican Party. 

State House Speaker Laurie Jinkins, also a Democrat, said while Fitzgibbon failed to meet behavorial standards associated with his appearance at the hearing, he has “acknowledged that behavior is unacceptable and has apologized.”

She said House Democratic leaders stand with Fitzgibbon as he takes steps to ensure his well-being. 

It is unclear whether Fitzgibbon will face any disciplinary action.