While you may have heard old wives’ tales about masturbation being bad for your health, according to science it’s actually the exact opposite.

Research shows that ejaculating as much as once every day can really limit the chances, while another study suggests a staggering 21 orgasms a month reduces a man’s likelihood of prostate cancer by 20%.

This comes as scientists recently revealed global deaths from the disease are likely to double in the next 20 years.

Orgasming 21 times a month yields impressive results for disease prevention, compared to men who come just four to seven times a month, who have a higher chance of getting prostate cancer.

The study, published in European Urology followed 32,000 men for 18 years and found that the more they came, the lower the risk of cancer.

Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women Hospital scientists also found men reap the benefits from ‘me time’ or wet dreams, with daily ejaculation proving an effective form of masturbation or intercourse.

We wish we could tell you why this is the case but the experts aren’t exactly sure. They have theorised though, and Dr. Anne Calvaresi, the chair of the Urology Care Foundation’s Prostate Health Committee, suggests ejaculation may protect the prostate by flushing out harmful chemicals that build up in semen.

She also explains it is possible men who ejaculate more may have healthier lifestyle habits that decrease their odds of being diagnosed with the disease.

So, if you’re looking to up your orgasm quota, we’ve enlisted the help of Dr Gigi Engle, certified sexologist and sex expert at sextoys.co.uk, to give you some interesting ways to spice up your solo masturbation.

First step first, Gigi says to get the prostate involved and it’s something you can do solo or with your other half.

‘Men can have prostate orgasms without stimulation to the penis. The orgasm from your prostate is a full body orgasm, and you feel a tingly sensation all over,’ Gigi tells Metro.

‘To reach it, you insert a finger or toy into the rectum, hooking up towards the belly button. The prostate feels like a rough-textured gland. The receiving partner may enjoy a variety of different types of prostate stimulation – varying from circular motions, to in-and-out penetration. It’s highly subjective and different people enjoy different things.’

Next Gigi suggests using a masturbation sleeve and recommends the Tenga Flex.

‘It has a ribbed and grooved design to help men enjoy masturbation to the fullest extent. This toy has all the manoeuvrability of jelly toys, with much easier disinfection and better quality material. Simply apply lubricant, and slip the sleeve over your member,’ says Gigi.

If you find you’re flagging a little, take yourself into a different room rather than the bedroom because different surroundings can really help your sex drive.

Gigi explains: ‘The bedroom might be the simplest place to get it on, but a change of scenery can really up the fire on your sexual mood.

‘Going outside the bedroom can give us taste of the unknown that we crave. Humans really need novelty to keep their sexual interest high.’

Prostate cancer: The facts

The prostate is a gland. It is usually the size and shape of a walnut and grows bigger as you get older. It sits underneath the bladder and surrounds the urethra, which is the tube that carries urine (wee) out of the body. The prostate’s main job is to help make semen – the fluid that carries sperm.

Prostate cancer can develop when cells in the prostate start to grow in an uncontrolled way.

Some prostate cancer grows too slowly to cause any problems or affect how long you live. Because of this, many men with prostate cancer will never need any treatment.

But some prostate cancer grows quickly and is more likely to spread. This is more likely to cause problems and needs treatment to stop it spreading.

In the UK, about 1 in 8 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. We don’t know exactly what causes prostate cancer but there are some things that may mean you are more likely to get it – these are called risk factors.

There are three main prostate cancer risk factors, which are things you can’t change. These are: 

Source: Prostate Cancer UK

This article was originally published April 13, 2024.

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The Slice

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Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week, we hear from Tammy*, a 43-year-old working in the media, who met her now-boyfriend Charles* three months ago.

Enticed by his good looks, charm, and intelligence, Tammy quickly fell for the 65-year-old, but there’s just one problem: his ‘revolting’ nightshirt.

Charles’ refusal to part ways with his pyjama shirt is a major turn-off for Tammy, and it’s causing her to question the relationship.

‘I have a healthy sex drive and in my last relationship my partner and I usually had sex twice a day,’ she says. ‘We both worked from home and we were always heading back to the bedroom.

‘However, with Charles, although I stay over three or four nights a week, we have not yet had sex.’

Tammy can see potential in Charles, but this lack of sex has left her feeling unhappy in her relationship. ‘It’s making me understand why people have affairs.’

Without further ado, here’s how Tammy got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

I wake up influencer-orange from doing my tan the night before. After breakfast I go for a swim and have an everything shower. This takes about three hours and I spend the rest of the day doing my hair and make-up.

I work from home, so I answer the odd email, but I’m getting ready to spend the weekend with Charles. I want to look fabulous, so that’s my priority.

I arrive at his at 7pm, in an Uber he’s sent for me. We enjoy a G&T before heading next door for a soiree at his neighbour’s house. There are 12 of us, including a couple who’ve recently moved into the square.

The woman is pretty and when Charles meets her, he practically forgets who I am. He says: ‘This is…….’ Then there’s a long awkward silence where my name should be until I step in and introduce myself. I let it go.

Charles has an eye for pretty women and quite frankly I find it rude. 

As usual, I wake up by myself and open the bedroom door only to be hit by a fog of cigar smoke. Charles gets up at around 5am, so by this point he’s been smoking for over three hours.

I march about briskly opening windows as Charles complains about the cold, and I remind him that I didn’t choose to have a relationship with a smoker. He lied about his smoking on Hinge, as well as claiming he was 50(15 years younger than he actually is).

I suppose this explains his struggles with erectile dysfunction, although I’ve never brought it up with him, but funnily enough this is not the biggest barrier to us having sex.

The most insurmountable issue is that he comes to bed dressed like Wee Willie Winky. Yes, he actually wears a nightshirt. I did not even know they existed outside of the Dickens film that’s on at Christmas, but somehow Charles has located one, perhaps by robbing the grave of someone buried in the Edwardian era.

The one thing worse than seeing him walk into the bedroom wearing it, is seeing him sit about in it all morning. It revolts me and I can barely look at him until nearly 11am, when he finally has a shower and gets dressed.

When he’s in a nice shirt and chinos with a cashmere jumper, I do find him attractive, he’s a handsome man. He’s over 6ft with the sort of bone structure most usually seen in the society pages of Tatler.

Seeing him like this, I definitely would, so I slip his hand inside my bra, hoping to excite him. I’m not sure if his ED is affected by his drinking, so I try to ignite the spark before he has alcohol in his bloodstream.

Charles is a big drinker, at the weekend he’ll start drinking before midday.

My efforts at putting his hand on my breast lead nowhere as he tells me I’m in the way of the television. He’s watching Formula 1.

We open a bottle of wine with lunch, so there’s no chance now, but the motorsports must have jacked up his testosterone levels as he tells me he’ll give me ‘a damn good f***ing’. I wish he would.

It used to excite me when he said things like this, but seeing as he’s never done it, I no longer believe him. It’s like Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses saying: ‘This time next year we’ll be millionaires.’ Ironically, Charles is a millionaire, but I despair of ever again getting a good d**king.

Friends are coming over for lunch and Charles reminds me how much he likes it when I am affectionate towards him in front of other people.

I can’t even deal with dissecting this so I just say: ‘OK darling!’ I give him a little kiss and make a mental note to ramp up the PDA when the guests arrive.

I must do a good job because one of them says: ‘Awww! You guys are so cute!’

And actually, we are a good match in a lot of ways. 

As well as being well-educated, Charles has impeccable manners and he’s very thoughtful. He’s the kind of man who takes care of things and I feel like I’m in safe hands when I’m with him.

Plus, penetrative sex isn’t everything, and Charles did go down on me twice last night. I prefer this anyway. If I had to choose between penetrative sex and receiving oral, I would definitely choose receiving oral. I just wish he would do it more often.

I didn’t actually want it the second time – I was tired and I wanted to go to sleep. However, I think he felt a surge of male pride at making my legs shake as I orgasmed and he wanted to do it again for the applause. 

It’s gone 9pm by the time the last guest leaves. We’re both tired by then, but Charles loads the dishwasher and we watch a bit of Top Gun 2 on the telly.

Monday

I wake up and walk into the sitting room where Charles is chain-smoking his miniature cigars, dressed in his ancient artefact. It’s like he’s cosplaying a Jane Austen character.

I want to tell him: ‘The V&A called – the costume curator wants their 18th century exhibit back’, but I bite my tongue.

He announces: ‘I was rock hard last night! Rock hard!’

He sounds extremely proud of himself, but unfortunately his claim bears no relation to reality. What actually happened is that he poked his semi-flaccid penis at me in the night and I ignored him until he stopped bothering.

You might imagine I’d be pleased at the prospect of having sex, and perhaps even helped matters along. However, the image of his ‘Tiny Tim’ nudging a molehill in his nightshirt makes me queasy.

I hate the idea of him hitching up his nighty and there’s no way I am putting my hand up there. I just won’t do it. I know he’s naked underneath, only because I see his boxers on the bathroom floor, and I don’t know why he can’t wear those to bed instead. 

Charles is working from home today and he wants me to stay and work from his, but I tell him I can’t concentrate so he orders me an Uber. At home I unpack then tackle my inbox before doing yoga.

I’m so happy to be sleeping by myself in my own bed. I love showering then getting into a freshly changed bed, with crisp clean sheets.

Charles’ cleaner changes his bed on a Monday morning, and I typically stay with him on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, so his bed’s never freshly changed when I’m there.

But it’s the nightshirt that makes the bed manky. I hate it – the fact that it’s always the same grubby garment disgusts me.

My revulsion is skyrocketing, but picking my battles, I decide I might be more able to stomach him wearing a nightshirt if it’s new, and clean on, rather than a dirty old dishcloth that I wouldn’t even use on the floors.

If I buy him a stack of new ones, he can always wear a clean one to bed. But aside from getting in a time machine and traveling back to 1840, where would I even find nightshirts?

I put these thoughts aside as I have a celebrity to interview for a newspaper. I spend the morning prepping, and afterwards I go to the gym.

I’ve spent the day wracking my brains, and all I can think of is an Ebeneezer Scrooge halloween costume. I find loads of them online, modelled by unpleasant old men.

The costumes come in synthetic fabrics with a range of accessories including fake candles, night caps and walking sticks. Although this is an amusing bonus, I’m unwilling to subject myself to a polyester-clad bed partner. Surely there must be nightshirts in natural fibres?

I have a flash of inspiration and turn to a forum on Reddit, where there is indeed a thread on men’s nightshirts. The original poster has asked if anyone wears them so I sift through the replies.

These include: ‘I think that was five generations back from anyone alive today lol’ and ‘Good lord, honey, we weren’t pioneers.’

With no pointers from Reddit, I’ve hit a dead end. I think about this as I transcribe yesterday’s interview. It takes all day but I prefer to do it myself as I don’t trust AI transcription services. In the evening I go for a run and head to bed.

I bite the bullet and call Charles to let him know I’m looking for new nightshirts for him. ‘Why?!’ he snaps.

I want to tell him: ‘Because it’s disgusting!’. However, in an effort to help him understand, I say: ‘Well, you wouldn’t wear the same shirt to work each day, would you?’

‘I wash it,’ he declares. ‘How often?’ I ask, gently.

I know his answer of every other day sadly isn’t true. He just hangs it back up on a hook on the door, with the rip in the cuff confirming that it is indeed the same old rag that he wears night after night.

Wary of arguing, I let it drop, but he later WhatsApps me saying: ‘I’ve bought four for £16 on Amazon.’

This is a miracle. Charles has Amazon Prime so maybe they’ll even be there when I go over tomorrow. As unsavoury as it is seeing him come to bed looking like a relic from Victorian times, at least he won’t be marinating in the same filthy fabric each night.

I stay in this relationship because Charles has some amazing qualities, and we have a shared love for entertaining at lunches and suppers, but now, if I’m feeling less repulsed by his nightshirts, who knows what this could do for our sex life, too.

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A churn of saliva. A clashing of teeth. Way too much tongue.

These are just some of the components of a kiss many of us would rather forget.

So, it might come as a surprise to hear that more and more Brits have been searching for this kind of smooch on porn sites.

In fact, in the past two years, searches for the term ‘kissing fetish’ have surged by 67% on adult content marketplace, Clips4Sale, making it one of the most lucrative categories.

That’s kisses that are ‘wet’ and ‘smokey’, according to search terms, as well as those that you might associate with a good snogger, including ‘erotic’, ‘romantic’ and ‘SFW (safe for work)’.

In the r/dating subReddit, users have been sharing their love of a ‘sloppy and wet make-out session.’

‘I yearn for a sloppy make out session,’ wrote one user, while another said: ‘I love spit swapping, tonsil wrestling, tongue tied make out sessions.’

Our jaws hurt just thinking about it, but sex therapist Courtney Boyer is hardly surprised that kissing fetish is finally having its moment.

‘Kissing sits right at the intersection of emotional intimacy and physical arousal,’ she tells Metro. ‘The lips are packed with nerve endings, so even light contact can send strong sensory signals through the body.

‘Throw in eye contact, anticipation, scent, and emotional connection, and it becomes a powerful erotic trigger.

‘This is often more psychologically charged than overt sexual touch.’

Why are so many Brits getting off to kissing videos?

Courtney explains that, like most fetishes, our penchant for the intimate act develops through early imprinting. ‘Because kissing is often our first intimate act, it can hold emotional and erotic significance that carried into adulthood.’

That certainly makes sense, but what’s the appeal of the ‘washing-machine’ style snog?

Well, Courtney says the wet noises can hold a particular allure.

‘Sound and sensation amplify arousal,’ Courtney adds. ‘Wet kissing noises can heighten realism, and signal a mutual desire and immersion in the moment.’ Essentially, it shows that the pair are really digging the smooch.

Specific searches for things like ‘smokey kisses’ also point to a desire for sex acts that feel a little bit wrong.

‘These refer to kissing where smoke, often from cigarettes or vapes, is shared mouth-to-mouth,’ Courtney says. ‘For some, the appeal lies in taboo, the combination of all senses (taste and smell), and the intimacy of sharing air.

‘It blends rebellion with closeness, which can feel edgy and erotic.’

The fetish can also overlap with kinks like breath play, oral fixations, sensory play and even romantic dom and sub dynamics.

‘All of these center on closeness, control, and sensory immersion, which are core elements of erotic kissing,’ Courtney explains.

Keeping it PG

On the other end of the spectrum, SFW (safe for work) kisses were another frequently searched-for term, suggesting there are those out there looking for a more PG exchange.

‘Despite an increase among the younger generation in more aggressive acts like choking, there is also a growing appetite for softer intimacy,’ Courtney says.

‘Kissing that feels affectionate, slow, and emotionally grounded rather than overtly sexual.

‘In times of stress or digital overload, people often crave comfort, safety, and nostalgia. “SFW” content offers arousal rooted in connection rather than explicitness.’

While the kissing fetish spans all genders, Courtney says that research and clinical insights suggest women are more likely to eroticise kissing because they tend to ‘link arousal with emotion’.

‘That said, men absolutely share the fetish,’ she adds, ‘particularly when kissing is framed as a marker of mutual desire or conquest. It’s less about gender and more about how individuals eroticise intimacy.’

But why the sudden uptick?

With a dramatic increase in demand for kissing fetish videos in the past two years, you do have to wonder what sparked the surge in interest.

For Courtney, post-pandemic psychology plays a major role. ‘Periods of isolation heightened our awareness of touch deprivation,’ she says.

‘Kissing, intimate but accessible, became symbolic of reconnection. At the same time, dating culture has been recalibrating toward slower, more intentional intimacy.’

And while the act of kissing itself has always been erotic, the expert suggests its rise as a standalone fetish is tied to online culture, too.

‘Particularly, it’s the growth of searchable, niche content over the past decade,’ she says. ‘As people realise their specific turn-ons are shared by others, interest and visibility increases.’

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