More People Are Now Identifying As ‘Heteroflexible’
If you asked dating app and content creator Terry Rhea what his sexual orientation is, he’d say he’s “heteroflexible”.
If you responded quizzically – what’s that? – he’d gladly go into detail about what the word means to him.
“To me, heteroflexible means that under the right circumstances – the right place, time, person and environment – I would potentially have fun with someone of the same sex,” Rhea told HuffPost.
“I view sex as something pleasurable, intimate and connecting. It’s supposed to be fun,” he said. “As long as everyone has been tested, boundaries are established, and all parties are consenting adults, I see no issue with that.”
The “mostly straight” messaging of “heteroflexible” works for him in a way that “bisexual” doesn’t.
“Bisexual, to me, means you are romantically attracted to and would date or marry either sex,” he said. “Heteroflexible means you are primarily attracted to the opposite sex, but under the right conditions, you’d be open to same-sex experiences – for me, it’s strictly for fun, nothing more.”
He’s not alone in embracing the label. In its recent annual data deep dive, Feeld – a dating app that brands itself “for open-minded individuals” – found that heteroflexible is the fastest-growing sexuality on the platform. The number of people choosing the label increased by 193% over the past year.
Rhea isn’t the least surprised.
“We have more nuanced terminology to describe the full spectrum of sexual identity these days,” he said. “People aren’t forcing themselves into boxes that don’t quite work anymore.”
But how does “heteroflexible” differ from all the other terms that are already out there: bi-curious, bisexual and pansexual? And is there something a little queerbaiting about hinting at queerness while aligning yourself with heterosexuality, as some critics have claimed? Below, we explore that and more.
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Where did the word come from, and how does it differ from bisexual and other labels?
“Heteroflexible” first gained traction in the early 2000s on U.S. college campuses and in online forums. (For those too young to know, this was the “I kissed a girl, and I liked it” era.) People also started using the term “homoflexible”. Its inverse: someone who is mostly gay but open to opposite-sex experiences under the right circumstances.
Is it full-blown orientation? Depends on who you ask.
For some people, heteroflexible feels like that, but for others, it’s more of a descriptive label for behaviour or even just curiosity, explained Jesse Kahn, the director and a sex therapist at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York.
“Experiences like this have always existed, and the language continues to evolve as people look for words that feel accurate and affirming,” he said. “The word reflects a broader shift toward understanding sexuality as fluid, contextual, and not always fixed or binary.”
Bisexuality and pansexuality are more fixed, said Alexandra Askenazi Marcus, a therapist and clinical supervisor at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center.
“Bisexuality and pansexuality are more established sexual orientations that involve consistent attraction to more than one gender, with pansexuality emphasising attraction regardless of gender,” she said.
“Heteroflexibility differs in that it often maintains heterosexuality as the primary identity while allowing for exceptions,” she said. “It’s less about identity.”
“Queer” meanwhile works as an umbrella term that gives people room to define their sexuality outside rigid or traditional categories.
Jaunté Marquel Reynolds-Villarreal, another therapist and clinical supervisor at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center, isn’t surprised the label is catching on. The discourse on love and sexuality is changing, he said, and younger people these days are down with the Kinsey Scale.
“Younger generations have been more open to viewing sexuality and sexual orientation as a spectrum,” he said. “In the past, we tended to use labels as very restrictive constructs, binding people into specific interests or attractions that just don’t really hold true here in 2026.”
There are some queer people who are critical of the label
Mary Hellstrom, a therapist and clinical supervisor at The Expansive Group in Honolulu, Hawaii, thinks that for some heteroflexible people, the label may function similarly to the popular ’90s term “bi-curious”.
As Hellstrom poetically put it, “[It’s] like a beautiful stepping stone along the path, or a set of water wings as one begins wading into the deep waters of queer sexuality for the first time”.
If the sexual orientations of bisexual, pansexual or queer function like houses of self, with permanent walls and art and glass windows, Hellstrom suggested that heteroflexibility functions more like a pop-up camper.
“It’s available for use when needed and easily packed away in storage when it isn’t,” she said. “Pop-up campers are wonderful inventions, perfect for those spontaneous, off-road weekend adventures, but they differ from a house and require much less effort to create and sustain.”
For critics of heteroflexibility – especially queer critics – what feels a little questionable about the label is how closely it sits to heterosexuality. Out of all the labels available, it’s a choice to describe your queer identity using the word hetero.
Given the hostile political climate LGBTQ people are currently facing, there’s safety in being straight adjacent, sex therapists we spoke to said.
“The most obvious difference between pansexual, queer or bisexual and heteroflexible is that those other identities are all subject to marginalisation and a lack of safety within our patriarchal systems,” Hellstrom said.
And as single women joke about frequently on TikTok, most people using the word heteroflexible on Feeld tend to be cis-men. “‘No homo,’ but I do occasionally have sex with men.”
Heteroflexible straight men get to experience the safety and privileges that come with the identity, without fully buying in and having their queerness threaten their masculinity. A full-bodied label, like, queer or gay, comes with a whole lot more stigma.
Rhea, the self-identifying heteroflexible man, agrees that such fears may come into play for some men who pick the label on Feeld.
“Because of how patriarchy functions, straight men who also experience any inkling of a homosexual thought or feeling often experience this as deeply threatening to their sense of self and masculinity,” he said. “The system is designed to evoke this feeling.”
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Rhea understands the criticism, but he views the terms as genuinely distinct. (And for the most part, people have reacted positively when he shares that he’s heteroflexible.)
“To me, bisexual is the umbrella term. Heteroflexible and homoflexible are subsets within it,” he said. “Heteroflexible means you primarily date and partner with the opposite sex but are occasionally open to same-sex play. Bisexual, in my view, sits in the middle: open to dating, partnering with, or marrying either sex. These aren’t the same thing, and the distinctions matter.”
Calling himself “heteroflexible” is an ethical, honest choice, he thinks: As he dates around, he doesn’t want a man to get the wrong impression about his openness to a relationship.
“I’m glad that Feeld offers heteroflexible as an option,” he said. “We’ve been placed into a worn-out box of compulsory heterosexuality. It’s refreshing to see that people are experimenting with little pushes against its walls.”
