If you’ve decided to start your photography business, you may want to start with your friends and family. They know you, trust you, want you to succeed, and they’re right there. It sounds too good to be true… Because it is. In a recent video, Miguel Quiles where he discusses why your friends and family could be the worst clients you can pick – and there are several reasons.

A Wedding Shoot That Costs More Than Money

Miguel shares his own story from early in his career, when a close friend asked him to photograph their wedding. He undercharged from the start, then cut his rate even further when the friend asked him to. Although he showed up early and delivered a full gallery within three days, things didn’t end well. He eventually issued a refund just to end the dispute, and ended up losing his money and, more importantly, a close friendship that still hasn’t been rebuilt.

Miguel puts it simply: when something goes wrong with a stranger, you get a bad review. But when it goes wrong with someone you love, you get a rift that often goes beyond repair.

What Does Research Say?

There’s even some research to back up Miguel’s claims and experience. A 2025 Lending Tree survey found that more than one in three people have ended a friendship over money. A separate Bank of America survey found that nearly three in four people believe financial transactions are harmful to friendships, and that almost 40% would end a friendship over a dispute of just $100.

And this is just about borrowing and lending money, which is pretty straightforward. Add unclear expectations and the inherently subjective nature of creative work into the mix, and you’ve got a much more complicated situation.

Why Is it so Difficult to Work with Friends and Family?

There are a few reasons this particular dynamic is so hard for photographers. First, photography is subjective. A friend might love you to bits, but feel underwhelmed by your work. They have no idea how to tell you without damaging the relationship, so they don’t, and the tension just sits there.

Second, people who know you often don’t take your pricing seriously. What I’d like to add is that they often underestimate how difficult your work is. How many times have you heard “Oh but it’s just a click of a button” or “You have a good camera, photos will be great.” Because I sure have. When you’re close to someone, you may feel guilty charging full rate. So, you undercharge, but still deliver as if you were paid in full, or even overdeliver. One way or another, you’ll likely end up resentful and drained.

My Experience

I want to briefly mention my experience photographing a friend’s wedding, where I was also her witness/maid of honor (aren’t I a jack-of-all-trades?). She asked me to photograph her and her husband on the wedding day before the ceremony. I was clear that I wasn’t good at photographing people and weddings, but she wasn’t easily convinced, as it was “just a few clicks” and “I have a good camera.” They didn’t have a budget for a photographer, and I was terrible at saying no, especially to someone I’ve been close with for decades now.

So, on the wedding day, we traveled between two cities, barely arrived just in time for the wedding, rushed to the park for the photoshoot after it, and then rushed to the restaurant where the reception took place. Between helping my friend pee in that gorgeous but impractical wedding dress and explaining to her husband’s family that I indeed don’t eat meat – I was photographing the reception, too.

After I delivered the photos, I got a very carefully crafted feedback that they weren’t very good. Even though I’d told her I was a bad portrait and wedding photographer, she still felt surprised that the photos weren’t as good as those taken by a professional, experienced wedding photographer. And I still felt like shit for letting her down.

Thankfully, we are still friends, but that experience left a bitter taste in my mouth. I’m also much better at saying no nowadays. And I’d still rather hold someone’s wedding dress while they pee than photograph them in it.

So, How to Avoid Having Friends and Family as Clients?

Miguel advises you to resist leaning on your personal relationships as your primary source of early business. It feels safe, but it’s actually one of the riskier moves you can make for both your business and your friendships and family relationships.

In case you don’t want to accept working with your friends and family, you can always refer them to one of your colleagues. Tell them you’re not open to work for whichever reason, and give them contacts from other photographers you trust.

If you do decide to work with someone close to you, have a conversation up front. Talk through expectations and what happens if they’re unhappy with the results. Put everything in writing and have them sign it. Yes, it seems formal, and it should be. When you give them a quote, show your actual full pricing first, then list the discount below it so they understand the value they’re receiving.

Still, probably the best thing you can do for your business and your relationships is to find your footing with strangers first. Yes, it seems more difficult at the beginning, but it’s a better decision in the long run. Build your skills and your portfolio with people who expect nothing from you beyond the work itself.

[The Truth About Selling Photography To People You Know | Selling For Creatives | Miguel Quiles]

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